Doggy Bank

  • What’s the deal with Golden Retrievers? Sure, they’re incredibly bouncy, undeniably licky and they have the kind of blonde fur that rivals Gwnyth Paltrow’s - but do they actually retrieve gold? No.

    It’s a classic case of miss-selling.

    If you’re looking for a dog to help you manage your fiscal assets then a golden retriever is no use whatsoever. Despite the name, they’re notoriously terrible with money. The type of dog you need is this one; a french bulldog, with a handy slot in its back.

    This dog won’t bark, or bite, or demand to be walked even though it’s cold out. This dog doesn’t even need to be fed mystery meat on a daily basis. This dog will simply stand wherever you choose for him to go, look marvellous and look after your money.

    He or she (depending on what vibe you think it’s giving off) is made of high quality golden ceramic and offers the type of unobtrusive dimensions that will make it a perfect addition to any shelf. It’ll guard your money with a fierce, unmoving, determined concentration and then - when you settle on something you’d like to spend some of those hard-saved coins on - your obedient little Frenchie will allow you to take it without so much as a low-level growl.
  • Made from ceramic (it's not real gold at this price)

    Measures about 22cm tall.

  • Depending on where your order is being delivered, it can take 2 to 3 weeks to arrive. All our orders are sent using a tracked service for your (and our) peace of mind.

    For more information about shipping, please visit our FAQ page here.

    Some orders may be subject to customs charges. Please read more about customs charges here.

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